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In honor of Valentine's day, which I truly dislike, here are a bunch of reasons you should be happy you're not with someone like me!
- I'm bothered when someone uses the wrong glass for the wrong liquid. Water in a pint glass? What is this, Soviet Russia?
- I like things neat, but I don't like periodic cleaning. Cleaning after something happens (spills, laundry, etc).
- I have a lot of trouble meeting new people, including (especially?) your friends and parents. There's nothing that can be done to make me comfortable there.
- Do you love waking up at 6am for no reason? Me neither, but here I am, awake. At 6.
- I'm only able to communicate via email and google calendar. Things I'm told are almost immediately forgotten (things I observe, on the other hand, are retained for at least a week).
- I own 9 cell phones. At least 3 of them work, and I usually travel with at least 2.
- On the other hand, all the phones in my house only ring randomly at 2am, when no one is calling.
- I think my job is a lot more important than it is.
- I hate flowers, and eating out. Except at pizza joints in New Haven, where both of those things are great.
- My most monetarily valuable possessions are either motorcycle or coffee related. This sounds okay, until you sit on my couch.
- I am the most intellectually arrogant fellow you're likely to have met. I back this up with usually being right.
- The things that I'm not certain I know most everything about I dismiss as unimportant. I mean after all, if they were important I'd know all about them, right?
- I can't handle loud places really well, which leaves out most bar concerts. But I forget about this, go anyway, and then am miserable and want to leave.
- I frequently forget my own birthday, not too mention yours, or any other calendar events you think are important. If it weren't for electronic reminders, I would never remember anyone's birthday.
- When I wake up early in the morning and you don't, and I'm nice enough to get out of bed, I often go into the next room and listen to opera at an inappropriate-for-the-hour volume.
I think that's enough for now, but I assure you there's plenty more. So be happy with whatever you've got today, even if its nothing; it could be worse!
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